Healing shame

Psychologically, there are only 2 ways we can feel around others: safe or unsafe.

Be it a friend, a partner or a relative - there’s either an intangible invitation that makes you feel expanded, accepted and seen or there’s a constriction and an underlying feeling of judgement/self-judgement that can turn you into a chameleon that chooses a path of lie.

I just went through a massive shame spiral about some irresponsible choices I made while knowing deep down all along they were misaligned. Making a decision to face the truth after avoiding and sweeping it under the rug for way too long felt excruciating. But introspection paired with emotional suffering pushed me to find the courage to connect with the part of myself that I deemed broken, ugly and unlovable. It made me finally see that I’ve sabotaged myself into oblivion, insecurity and complacency.

This experience helped me realize something very important about shame: it breeds and multiples exponentially if it’s kept as a secret in the darkness of the mind. Shedding the light on it - seeing it, feeling it and sharing it - not only makes it vanish like a vampire in the daylight, but also helps to alchemize it into action.

It’s VERY important to share the truth you deem as shameful with someone who feels safe. Someone who can just actively listen while looking you in the eyes. Without judging your choices, offering advice or jumping into rescue. Someone who can witness and just love you, empowering to love yourself back.

Think about who can play this role of a mirror in your life? In whose presence will you not need to manipulate the truth or blame others for the reality you’ve created? Who can you show the ugliest part of you?

And if you can’t think of such a person in your current circle.. Was there someone from your past who loved you unconditionally? Perhaps your grandparent?

Close your eyes and share it with them. Feel how they perceive you with loving presence, encouraging you to forgive yourself, accept the circumstances as they are, and take responsibility for the new choices you will be making from now on.

It’s POWERFUL

But first.. what is the darkest secret that you’ve been hiding?

It starts by you sharing with you..